A heart that hurts

He to her:

" I Love you- Do you think I am Lying"

" You fight a lot"

" Your No-Nos irritate me"

" You put a Holier-Than-Thou Attitude"

" I want to be intimate with you-but you don't let me"

" On second thoughts I don't want to get into any entanglements later "

" You don't mince words when you are angry- I am scared of your temper"

" Better stay away.....Too much trouble "

She to Him

" Hey you forgot something - I have a Heart that hurts........

The So-Called Alpha Females

Once upon a time not so long ago- I used to feel proud to be called a Alpha Female.Not any more cos lot of unexpected events made me realise -that fancy names and jargons doesn't mean a thing-Handsome is what handsome does.

I strongly feel Character is what one does when no-one is looking......And the Few alpha females I know or thought I know-sadly turned out to be different versions of Gold-Diggers- Who cry "Wolf"-when their self interests get hampered- and their self interests are motivated by pure material haves and have-nots. One guy- friend, who seems to be a checklist match for loads of girls( thank God he has got married now and will cease to be of any interest to any of these girls)-his equation with many of these women, and the consequences made me learn a lot of things-

All of these women sooner or later would start crying from the rooftop about how mean and cruel and disgusting a person he is- Interestingly this happens when each of them have tried and failed to get into a relationship with him. They have not been crying "wolf " when they see him rejecting someone else's charms. The "truth" and "Realisation" dawns on them only when he rejects them. Nothing wrong in that- except maybe one needs to accept responsbility for one's actions as well- and agree and say"ah well I thought he looks good on paper, and I thought things could work out between us , so I gave him lot of leeway, but he was too smart for me", instead of saying nasty cruel things about him and him alone.

Funny thing is each of them have expected me to stand by them and support them cos I happen to be one female buddy of the guy- and since I have always believed a little too much in my conservative teachings of the nuns- have always reprimanded him- though going by logic alone- it has never been any of my business.....

I wonder if they had a close guy friend- who was in a similar situation with other girls- would they have ever risked their friendships to speak out what they thought was ethically right......

The Scapegoat

Met up a friend after a long time- and some of the old stories came back to my mind.
It amazes me how even the most courageous of people choose to clutch at straws when it comes to facing some bitter truths. This friend had been at the recieving end of some unfair and unfavourable gossip by people whom she trusted and who were close to her......Unfortunately there are wheels within wheels and one close person is linked to another close person and taking them to task means standing to risk a very valuable relationship- So quietly an outsider who knew each of them in a restricted capacity was made the scapegoat -and no one was hurt-except tht the concerned person was made a nice little scapegoat uneccesarily and before she knew what hit her she had been nailed and crucified .............
I sometimes wonder if life is always so strange for everyone in all parts of the world?

Random thoughts

I realised- what I really find intolerable in people in the inability to have sound judgement in oneself- that is being unable to decide whom to trust and whom not to.....
You owe it to yourself and to others who trust you to be able to come up as a person of strong insight....

You are on your own

Yet another molestation incident-in a city that is considered safe-http://www.hindustantimes.com/storypage/storypage.aspx?id=143f3514-8801-42cb-88ea-0cca28a32d5d&MatchID1=4626&TeamID1=1&TeamID2=6&MatchType1=1&SeriesID1=1165&MatchID2=4618&TeamID3=3&TeamID4=4&MatchType2=1&SeriesID2=1163&PrimaryID=4626&Headline=Mob+molests+2+women+on+New+Year%e2%80%99s+Day

Everyday when I step out of my house to take a public transport to office I say a silent prayer for my safety and for the safety my friends ...Am not scared of bomb blasts-the idea of being blown to pieces because some people somewhere in the world want to spread terror is not my idea of death...... But that is not what scares me or for that any woman travelling alone (I am daring to speak on behalf of all women like me)-what scares them is the acts of perversion, acts of brutality, display of male brawn power, lust and violence done so blatantly under the cover of crowd . Talk to women -from age 12- 60 and they will have more than once incident of such experiences to narrate-and what makes it worse is the callousness of people all around and the tendency of society of blaming the woman of "inviting lecherous attention by her inappropriate dressing"!!!! I wonder what do people mean when they state the above- Are women fond of being groped by mobs, Do they want men staring down their anatomy, is it a pleasant thing to be jostled in crowds and above all does a woman want to be raped....

Dressing is a personal choice- there is a whole lot of paramaters that gets factored in when one makes a choice of dress...why bring morality into the picture and try to justify brutal, violent , cruel acts. In fact I think rape is the only crime in the world where the victim is made to feel guilty- They are ostracised, made fun of, criticised, everything from their appearance to their "character" becomes a topic of discussion and sometimes of amusement for everyone.....

I don't even want to go into what happens in courtrooms.....

Bottomline- If you are a woman your safety is your own responsbility and here I am not talking about following traffic rules. If you become a target of mob vandalism- it makes good headline news, lot of media flutter and attention, sparks a lot of debates , sometimes also becomes a political issue -but you as a person do not get any social support to tide you through the trauma, you do not get the legal support to ensure that the perpetrators get their due , you also do not get the comfort of knowing that your experience is used as a learning to prevent other such incidents by adequate measures....You are pretty much on your own...The groping, jeering, staring just never stops

And I am Back.......

To a City from where I had started my career...
After a long break....after interviewing with several organizations and sifting through 6 job offers finally I joined a new industry.......
Bombay as I had known earlier is slightly changed ......
Rent prices have soared....there are different looking Best buses on the street and different looking locals plying as well...the Crossroads Mall near Haji Ali no longer exists, there r so many new malls in the city...traffic on the streets is maddening(or so i think)...and amongst all -I get to stay in the Hotels which earlier I used to stare at across the streets - juvenile as it may sound , the thought does give me a teeny weeny bit of happiness.......Also the City doesnt feel like a stranger like it did the first time I landed here 4years back...Now its almost like meeting your childhood friend after a long hiatus....
So long Bombay....give me a good life like you did earlier....looking forward to having fun with You